DO NOT GET MARRIED Unless You Ask Your Partner These 5 Questions; or Else
You’ve probably heard it a million times before, marriage is a big step. If you’ve been with your partner for multiples years or especially if you’ve lived in a home with them for quite some time, you probably think you know each other pretty well. For some couples that may be absolutely true, but for many they find that they haven’t really taken the time and effort to talk about the important issues because frankly, they just haven’t come up yet!
Well, here is your chance to make sure you both know exactly where the other stands on these serious topics and whether or not further discussion is necessary. Here are the 5 questions you need to ask your partner before you decide to get married.
1. Are our spiritual and religious beliefs congruent?
This isn’t to say you’re both required to practice exactly the same religion or system of beliefs, there are many happy couples with seemingly opposing spiritual beliefs, however there are more aspects to consider here.
Can you still respect someone who has very different beliefs from your own? What will happen when or if you have children, will the differing beliefs be an issue then? These are all important things to think about.
2. Are there serious, possibly life-changing health issues we should disclose to each other?
Again, this may sound like a silly or simple thing to ask, but when you’re promising to spend a lifetime with someone and to care for them in sickness and in health, these are things you may want to be aware of. Are there genetic illnesses in the family you may want to prepare for?
3. How do you feel about holidays?
This isn’t just about whether or not you’re really into Christmas decorations or you hate going out on Halloween. This is also an important way of establishing what possible desires or expectations are for things like birthdays, anniversaries, and family celebrations.
4. If necessary (or if I asked), would you consider marital counseling?
It might sound a little pessimistic to bring up, but counseling and therapy are still somewhat taboo even in this modern day and age. There are people who would rather let a relationship fall apart than attend a few sessions together.
5. What has caused our relationships to fail in the past?
Of course it can be uncomfortable to dig up past hurts and heartbreak, but it is so important to examine these failures in order to keep them from repeating themselves with your spouse. Marriage takes hard work and a lot of effort. It’s the biggest commitment you’ll likely ever make. You need to explore the reasons and behaviors that led to previous break-ups so that you’re able to apply everything you’ve learned to this great endeavor.